


Nasty Songs

by supercanaries



Series: Joystick & Glitter [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Babysitting, Hints of Brittany/Santana, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-29
Packaged: 2018-01-06 16:24:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercanaries/pseuds/supercanaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian is supposed to take care of Brittana’s baby girl, Emily, but it seems like he doesn’t exactly know which the right songs to teach to a baby are. Eventually, Kurt is shocked when he hears her sing and thinks Santana is going to kill them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nasty Songs

He lets the shopping bags fall on the pavement and turns to close the main door of the Hummel-Smythe apartment behind his back. Then he grabs the bags again and starts carrying them into the kitchen, where the lights are all on. He thinks Sebastian has come back home from work already. Well, actually, Kurt is the one who’s late tonight, so he doesn’t wonder too much about it. He was up at work to stick with an article about fancy tight jeans.

“Uncle Kurtie!” A high-pitched voice makes him startle and he almost drops the bags when the baby girl practically jumps in front of him.

“Emily?” Kurt asks, arching his eyebrows, but smiling anyway. He walks around the hallway and finally enters the kitchen, followed by the little girl. “What’s this wonderful princess doing in my castle?” He adds while Emily clumsily hangs to the pockets of his smooth pants.

“Mom said I had to stay with uncle Bas tonight!” She replies and Kurt turns to notices Sebastian sitting at the table, holding some small console into his hands and staring into the screen without even greeting.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s taking so much care of you.” Kurt shakes his head and puts the bags on the table before he looks down at the girl.

“He does! I’m having so much fun!” Emily screams, clapping her hands.

“Really?” Kurt asks then, smiling and bending on his knees so that he can pull her full cheeks. They’re just like Brittany’s: pale and then turned red in a few seconds.

“Yup! Do you want to listen to what uncle Bas taught me?” She asks, her eyes shining brightly in anticipation, so much that Kurt can’t say no.

“Of course!”

For some reasons, he can hear Sebastian laugh lowly, and then Emily is clearing her throat and striking a pose. 

“The sun goes down the stars come out,  
And all that counts is here and now,  
My universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came.”

Kurt shakes his head for a moment, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping.

“Did … did Bas teach you this song?” He asks as panic starts building up fast inside him until it makes his stomach clench. Sebastian is whistling innocently behind his back, like he isn’t guilty for anything.

“Yup! Isn’t it awesome? I love it!” Emily claps her hands again, enthusiastic, while Kurt’s face turns red, green, red again and then purple. “He taught me another one! I’ve learnt that too, see? I’m getting better with words!”

Kurt feels like he’s going to pass out at every moment now, but he nods anyway, ready to sink the new blow.

“You just put your lips together,  
and you come real close,  
can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby-”

“Oh my God.” Kurt cuts her immediately, feeling like he is going to lose it in a few seconds. “Hey, little lady, you’re such a good singer, but you know what uncle Kurtie thinks? Practice makes you perfect.” He says as Sebastian is giggling and Kurt rolls his eyes because he just knows Bas is thinking about practicing over blowing whistles. “Why don’t you go and practice a little in our room and then come back? I’ll see if you’re getting better, I bet you can do more than that!” He smiles at her and Emily nods, clapping her hands once more and running into the other room.

Kurt makes sure she’s out before he turns to Sebastian, standing up and walking towards him. He speaks lowly, but strictly enough to make Sebastian understand how mad he is.

“Did you teach stupid nasty songs to our niece?” He looks at him in shock and then Sebastian puts Emily’s PSP on the table and gazes at him like he’s done nothing bad.

“That’s okay, Kurt. She thinks it’s about a whistle.”

“That’s not okay.” Kurt cuts him, passing a hand on his head and through his hair as he looks absently at the wall. “Santana is going to kill us …”

“Santana Lopez?” Sebastian asks ironically, shrugging and rolling his eyes. “You forgot who Santana is or what?”

“Sebastian, she’s her daughter. I’m sure she doesn’t want her to become like the two of you-”

“Hey, stop, what are you implying?” Sebastian asks wrinkling his lips. “If she became like me, she’d be perfect.”

“Shut up.” Kurt replies. “I can’t believe you did this. What if she starts singing it down the street? Or at school? Sebastian, you’re sick. You’re so sick, seriously, I can’t-”

“Aw, you’re calling me Sebastian.” He wrinkles his lips to Kurt, pouting. “That must mean you’re really mad at me; which is sad, but also good, because you know I love it when you’re mad at me. I don’t know if I’m more sad or happy actually. Maybe I’m just sappy.”

“You’re an idiot.” Kurt says, his eyes full of distress. “You’re such an idiot, seriously.”

Sebastian laughs and then he finally stands up, walking towards Kurt.

“Oh, don’t you dare.” Kurt scolds him. “I’m banning your stupid sexy meerkat walk right now.” 

“Poor me, if the sexy meerkat walk won’t help me, there’s nothing that can save me.” He laughs, jokingly. 

“Bas,” Kurt groans then, lifting his arms as he gives up and pouts at him, “Teach her something new. If she learns a better song, she’ll forget about these two.”

“She’s got an awesome memory.” Sebastian complains, smirking and getting closer.

“You can forget about sleeping with me for two months if Santana freaks out about this.” He answers then, and Sebastian hesitates for a moment, tightening his eyelids and looking doubtful.

“She won’t freak out.” He nods to himself like he wants to make it sound believable to his ears. Also, he clearly wants Kurt to take the punishment back.

“Two months, Sebastian,” Kurt intensifies his glare, “two months without touching me. Think about it.”

Sebastian hesitates again, a grimace on his face, clearly proving that he doesn’t want to give up. Eventually though, he sighs and pouts.

“You didn’t even kiss me, babe.”

“You were playing Emily’s PSP. I wonder if you did look after her. Maybe she looked after you, it wouldn’t surprise me.”

“Oh c’mon. I even bought her brioches while we were walking home. I’m the best uncle in the whole world.” He lifts his chin proudly.

“Such a smug little meerkat …” Kurt comments. “Two months, two months, two months …” He starts humming, making it sound terribly similar to a horror movie theme.

“Fine!” Sebastian gives up, rolling his eyes exaggeratingly. “Emilyyyy!” He screams, making the kid’s name resound around the house. “Bas has got a new song for you!”

Kurt sighs in relief. 

“Yayyy! A new song!” Emily squeals and they can hear the sounds of her steps around the house. “Which one?” She asks with a bright smile, coming in from the door and looking at Sebastian as Kurt crosses his arms to his chest.

“This one,” Sebastian takes a breath and starts singing, “Sucking too hard on your lollipop, hey, love’s gonna get you down-”

Kurt immediately slaps him on the back of his head.

“Ouch.”

“Why are you hittin’ Bas?” Emily asks in shock. “I like this song! And I like lollipops too!” 

Kurt wants to yell and cry by now, seriously.

“Oh I do too.” Sebastian is already replying. “But I swear no one loves lollipops as much as Kurt-”

He gets slapped again.

“Bas can’t eat lollipops though, he’s sick to his stomach right now.” Kurt lies when Emily looks confused. “Now, little bug, why don’t you put your coat on? I’m going to take you out and teach you songs on the radio while Bas cooks us dinner and stays as far as he can from you.” He looks at Sebastian as he pronounce the last words.

“Yeaaaah! Let’s take your car!” Emily squeals and Kurt spreads his arms to bring her, lifting her body and keeping her close to his chest.

“As for you,” He points at Sebastian, “two months.”

Sebastian laughs but now it just sounds and looks fond, as he leans his hips against the table.

“When I’ll cook the dinner of your dreams, you’re going to forget about these two months.” He winks provokingly, but Kurt just rolls his eyes and takes Emily to the hallway to make her wear her coat. 

He sighs again when Emily starts humming to Lollipop by Mika.

Santana is going to kill them.


End file.
